happy?
-GEMs grp project.
-OC grp project.
-Math grp project.
-Mech 1 online quiz.
-IToE online turning quiz.
-IToE revision paper.
-Mech 1 class test on Mon.
-Eltrn class test next term week 1.
-Autocad test on next fri.
-Math tutorials.
-Math class test in january.
-Screwed IToE pract.
-Pack stuff(for moving hse).

if i've left out anyth just tag to remind me=(.

i realised, smths isnt the same anym.
trying hard to...
i noe ure trying to help everyone.
bud dont u think ure trying too hard?
look ard.
can u tell wad have u lost?

sorry i cudnt help u.
i cud only help when ure willing me to help out.

im so glad i dun control ppl.
'cos in this case,
at least im moving on.
i hate projects.
esp when i have to rush them out by tmr.

today was a blessing alrdy, compared to last week.
highlights for today:
-soya ice-cream.
-lao po.
-completed sample paper up to qn3.
-KFC.
-fried rice.
bud frm wad i see, i'll soon have constipation, right?LOL.
anyw, the fried rice was Xtra super spicy.
so instead of constipation, i think i will have diarrhoea.

ok,enuf of my rubbish.
bud stomach start aching=D.

oh, i must have so stressed tt i was mad today.
well, im kinda fine.
hopefully back to normal when tmr comes.
week 7.

i really do miss the old times.
this week is seriously ridiculous.
from monday til tmr.
i've nt been myself, not for a single day in this week.
& tmr, im doing stuff tt i've nvr ever thought of trying.
i only hope for one thing,nvr ever messup tmr's concert.

tell me who am i, tell me what i'm doing?
i'm really confused.

so thank you ppl,
for hearing me out,
for trusting me,
for taking care of me,
for protecting me,
for entertaining me,
for provoking me.


this few weeks,
we're both occupied by our own stuffs.
we're expected to handle our stress individually.
we're sad recently for diff reasons.
we're always trying to be there for each other.
i really appreciate it. & im really sorry for the times im nt being able to be with u/help u.

i really hope tt everyth will be fine.
you&me.















sorry,
really very sorry.
i promise i'll keep my cool if i meet this kind of situations again.
promised.
i would be coward & run away immediately after spamming vulgarities.
okok,ok.nono.i will run straight away.ok?
im sorry, to get you hurt.im sorry.

i'm sorry cos i was really upset these few days.
i swear this is the first time im so DESPERATE for a holiday.


im still enduring.
'cos i haven figure out what to say.
save me.
found @ sl blog.
took my quiz & here's the result.

wow.



=(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

i wonder will everyth go back to the same after 7 days?

thr's many things i dun get it,bud i try to understand.
what can i do?
i try nt to disturb/interrupt.
i try to work my way out for these few days.
i try to keep myself occupied.
nt tt im nt willing to bring u along for this sunday,
bud u said u've things on, bud u will try to make it.
however, i think its alright.
dun nd to run in & out.
i dun nd u tt badly, i am fine to go thr, i've gt daddy & mummy wif me.alright?

if you nd time to do ur stuff,
just go ahead.
dun nd to rush for me.
nt tt i dun wana spend time wif you,bud
i really want to give u more space for this few days.
i really dun wish to waste ur time.it's nt worth it.

i promise i'll be right back after you complete ur stuff.
definately if u nd me during this few days,i'll be thr too.
other den tt,i'll keep myself out.
we had our ideas presentation today.
as usual, i've got nth to say.

after ideas, grp went to koufu & eat.
suddenly duno who say "wana pon class anot?"
lol, & tt's it, all pon.

so went lab w/ lao po to submit gems test.
den went lib for aircon.
'cos i didnt eat anyth @ koufu,
so went to fc 1 for beef & onion bowl.=DDDDDDD
(finally no nd eat koufu!)
was facing the stall when im eating, so took this opportunity to look at ppl & comment.
(seldom gt this chance alrdy)

den i went back home straight.
has been slpin late this few days, & we have tests/tuts tmr.
esp maths tut, haven been following much compared to starting of the sem.

=(.went home straight.
didnt have the mood to study in sch.
1)'cos damn tired.
2)lao po needa go back ntss.

alright,so reach hm ard 2,
immediately K.O on my bed.
woke up ard 5.30 by mummy.

alright.after dinner,now..
i need to..
1)do maths tuts.
2)revise electronic lab test stuffs.
alone.
There's more to come.
bud im glad i figured out.

i really feel like being suffocated.
i noe i look damn fedup today,for the whole day.
thrs nth i can do abt it.
if im nt happy,i dont put up a smile just to entertain ppl.

i have to persuade myself,
to make myself feel better.
don't nd to highlight,i gt nth to post.
im scratching my neck,my stomache,my shoulder,
like..a monkey.

feel so full cos i haven shit.
feel abit hungry becos i ate bun,dinner & brunch & lil tibits today.
i'll try to shit them out by tonight.promised.

headache.

freaking annoyed by projects/tests etcs.
thrs so many incomplete stuffs,
all hanging in mid.

lao po haven come back=(
woke up & set off to sch.
send a msg "im leaving frm custom to sch" to lao po.LOL(@ ard 9 am)
den he replied "?you late?lol,me too"
???late?its only 9am!
"eh?really?i tot it was 9am, so i ran frm newtown to SP!"-_-!

munched super rings & choco during ItoE.
den went off for brunch.
& lao po left sch,back to his camp.

wayne:"u guys gg for mech?im gg home after OC"
aaron:"i gt smth on later"
guigui:"im gg home"
---------------------------------------------------
wilson absent.
lao po MIA.

O.O.wad am i gg to do?

OC lesson....
aaron,guigui,wayne sit front row.
"aaron,sit beside me lurh"
aaron:"dun wan"=(

haikel appear..
"sit here lurh"
haikel:"why?!"
":'( no one wans to sit with me."
"LOL"

so th 1st thing i do to my new fren,
ransack his bag.clothes & notes,nth else.
he ransack my pencil box & say it was full with rubbish?!?
ok,true enuf.

den started some convo with haikel & wayne...
this pretty boy complain tt the air con is too strong,
so i came to rescue him,lending lao po jacket to him n took his jacket & wear it.
A sleeveless jacket?!O.O.wads the use?URH?!

OMG,OC ended.everyone flee...
no choice,confiscated haikel pencil box.
so he bo bian,have to stay wif us til 3pm.
in the end wayne wait til 3 before gg home.

mech..
sitting alone for 1.30 hrs.
nas n weng kindly ask me to shift sit to their side..
bud lazy..no diff right?

went home straight after sch.
YEAH,REACH HM B4 6PM!MIRACLE!

have dinner & red bean bun.
now stil eating bun.
thr is like..3/4 of it left,on my study table!
& im stil nibbling it.
no wonder i gt stomachache so often,& ants on my bed(table is just beside bed,im sitting on bed,lappie on table).

lao po lao po!
NEH,i like to call lao po.

drank alcohol ytd,& damn it.
i didnt noe im allergic to it.
rashes frm shoulder to thigh.
headache.

mech class test is in 2 weeks time.idea project is due by this wed?!eltrn lab test this thurs.concert this sun.music appreciation test due by wed & many things more ahead.

lao po lao po lao po.
u don't K.O.
u cannot K.O.
'cos i cannot.
so u cannot.
this is an order.

damn it.itchy.
its the 1st time i heard myself crying so loud in my dreams.
i could only rmb some parts.
character:wayne,weng,han,me.(n our class ppl,i didnt see,bud i knew)
scene:some room,like..lecture rooms
sitting position:i only noe weng sit behind me & han sit beside me.
main character:chan dai weng.

story:
everyone was in class & after one module we have our breaks.
so me n han decide to go out n buy some stuffs.
i rmb turning back n ask weng wad he wans.
he was laughing like OMGZX%^&,becos of some jokes he heard.
den he replied me" nah,dun wan be light bulb,*twing twing*"

den me n han went out.

when we came back..i duno who told me weng was cut in halves?!?!no exactly half,bud was like 3/4.
den i open the door,n saw him(the 3/4 part) crying to himself(the other 1/4 part).
at tt point i laughed n walk out of the room bud i saw wayne was sobbing,
so i went back in n realise thr was alot of blood ard n weng's ears/hands was bloody.
suddenly heard thr is a..a..weapon..like duno wad spears fall n cut him.
& suddenly he walk near me n cry/talk/say he's gona die or smth n holds the 1/4 of himself.
i ran to the other corner of the room n squad dwn n cry.

finally daddy came n woke me up.
phew.

this is the only few dreams tt i could rmb clearly after so many hrs...
bloody scary.
perhaps recently i've been watching some gore/horror shows & an incomplete convo with weng last night becos i pluck out my lappie battery when i thought my ac power was on(which is not).
& im lazy to start lappie again,so i went to slp instead.

damn it,i can stil rmb clearly..
urh ahem.
feeling confused.
recently tao brought me back to those memories.
its aldy been nearly 6 months.
bud,really.i've learnt alot.

maintaining a relationship isnt as easy as i intially thought.
& isnt as smooth as i planned.
although i lose my temper & shout at him,
bud i wud grab his arms later on & treat him better.

i have to learnt when to hold him tight,when to let him free.
we're still young,still learning & growing.
will it last?will it fade.
in the past,i wud say time wud tell.
bud nw,i have to say,we have to keep our relationship well.
bud i've no faith in it.

when i have alot of theories to tell,
bud i don't have the confidence,




im just dreaming.
the electronic lesson was..terrible.
i really don't uds a single stuff.
&..it was freaking boring tt i have to keep changing my sitting position to keep myself awake.
ok..although in the end i did fall slp..

well,recently.
got pretty much things on my mind.
just some crappy stuffs which i would like to take them off.

somehow,i feel v uncomfortable recently.
i don't know why/what/how.
guess i really have to turn myself in to the lost & found centre.
honestly speaking.
haven been happy since the day after i meetup with ruksuek.
nothing seems interesting/exciting.
or u can say,nothng interest me anym.
yea,nothing at all.

paying full attention in tutorials/lectures/practicals.
all i get is frustrations.
ok,i mean,mostly frustrations.

hanging out with wayne wayne's group.
as usual,lame but comfortable.

cloning with him.
sometimes sweet,sometimes tiring,sometimes frustrated.
this is the 1st time i've gotta learn hw to live with another person.
i used to have control of everyth.
now,i have to consider many things b4 i do.
being with you doesnt mean i have to lose myself.
so,i am nt being ridiculous,it's just tt for smths,we dont clique.

staying at home.
i love it.
but thr will be changes to it soon.
gona move in to sengkang in mid Dec.
although my home wud be diff, bud my attitude is still the same.
i love my home,n i can coop up in the hse up for weeks.

travelling to n fro.
although moving hse soon,i have to return back to m'sia every weekend for piano lessons.

considering RSAF.
after consulting friends,bros,parents,rsaf.
i think i will sign jpsds,as senior tech.
cos recently just got a letter frm authorities,asking me to apply for PR.
so i cud only consider rsaf IF i can gt the PR.
furthermore, getting PR doesnt meant rsaf want me.
so,short term goal..
to get PR, to apply for jpsds, den hopefully they approve..
tt will definately make my life v different.

schooling everyday.
its pretty boring.

im bored.im bored.im bored.im bored.i said im bored.

i do feel smth has changed.some i can tell,but some i could not.
but i am stil adapting to it.
however,if thr's a day i really couldnt stand it any longer,
i mightwill let go everyth & start anew.

i have changed,
im now even more pessimistic,
not-as-violent as before.(i really mean it)
i realised i've closed up myself.
trap myself & never had the intention to set myself free.

i have nt been crying for ages.
'cos im happy?nope.
it feels so bad tt im really down,bud im so sick of crying.
We're kinda different from others.isnt it?
we're meeting almost everyday,close to 12 hrs per day.
we study tgt,we eat tgt,we lame tgt,we pinch each other,we do hmwk tgt,we draw ideas tgt,we mad at each other,we care for each other,etc.
originally we're just cloning,now,we became each others clone.
u uds my badly-phrase english,i uds ur pathetically-broken chinese.
u came to fetch me,i went to pick u up.
when im angry,ure frustrated.
when im sad,ure worried.
u cook for me,i invite u for dinner.
i help u carry ur file,u help me carry my bag.
when i scream when im frighten,u yelled.
when im poor,ure poor too.HAHA.

now,u have step into my life.
and for sure,i wont let you offgo so easily.LOL
i guess we've been tgt for ard..6 mnths?
those confusion,n uncertain has left.
everyth is so secure & stable now.
this is what i wanted,this is what i've been wishing for.
i really hope nth bad pops out sooner or later,i just had this bad feeling.
probably im too used to live in the past.

sometimes i feel im so happy to stick beside u so much,
sometimes i just want more freedom.

we're disgustin,we're kiddy,we're stupid,we're shameless.
"its WE,not only me"

i am not embarass to say i love you,infront of anyone.
some says no love is everlasting.
i agree.
bud im fine with u now n i dont care.
no matter is 1 yr 3 yrs 5 yrs.
im willing to try n make things work.

i need a pair of heels.
i need a dress.
i need smone to help me makeup.
i am gona host a piano concert for my music centre.O.O.
wana come?
the movie REC is so damn frightening.
trust me,its so freaking frightening until he grab me n yell.
its not scary but frightening.
and the yell of the infected victim was deafening.
but overall is quite a gd movie.
Do watch it if u have a strong heart.
have been running ard sg this few days for diff purpose.
its really tiring..

autocad is a very annoying module,
"you can draw,bud u must draw faster."
comeon,
u shud teach,bud u must teach slower lurh!
oops,tt reminds me tt i haven finish the qns YET.

OOHH!
i rmb!!!
OC!shat,haven even contact haikel.
gosh,have to finish it by today!

sadded,its sunday again.
3rd week is gona start SOON.
i said i'll study bud..err..seems like i gt no stamina at all.

this sem is plain tiring.

now:waiting for blueberry cheese tarts&i miss you!
hmm,went for the rsaf talk today..
saw..aaron w/ his frens..wayne..n some 01s.

hmm..
happy birthday gor.

thank you.

bye.im super tired.

Hello, my name is shujing.
I was born on 02101991, do the maths yourself to find out how old i am.
Currently studying in Singapore Polytechnic Aeronautical Engineering.
Previously studied in Woodlands Ring Secondary & Marsilling Primary.=)

bs. dw. gny jeanie jiahe k'th nanjun s'ron singning sl. zm. ks. zk. Mel&B

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Adapted from: heyromance
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