Sunday, November 9, 2008 @ 8:04:00 PM
down down.
honestly speaking.haven been happy since the day after i meetup with ruksuek.
nothing seems interesting/exciting.
or u can say,nothng interest me anym.
yea,nothing at all.
paying full attention in tutorials/lectures/practicals.
all i get is frustrations.
ok,i mean,mostly frustrations.
hanging out with wayne wayne's group.
as usual,lame but comfortable.
cloning with him.
sometimes sweet,sometimes tiring,sometimes frustrated.
this is the 1st time i've gotta learn hw to live with another person.
i used to have control of everyth.
now,i have to consider many things b4 i do.
being with you doesnt mean i have to lose myself.
so,i am nt being ridiculous,it's just tt for smths,we dont clique.
staying at home.
i love it.
but thr will be changes to it soon.
gona move in to sengkang in mid Dec.
although my home wud be diff, bud my attitude is still the same.
i love my home,n i can coop up in the hse up for weeks.
travelling to n fro.
although moving hse soon,i have to return back to m'sia every weekend for piano lessons.
considering RSAF.
after consulting friends,bros,parents,rsaf.
i think i will sign jpsds,as senior tech.
cos recently just got a letter frm authorities,asking me to apply for PR.
so i cud only consider rsaf IF i can gt the PR.
furthermore, getting PR doesnt meant rsaf want me.
so,short term goal..
to get PR, to apply for jpsds, den hopefully they approve..
tt will definately make my life v different.
schooling everyday.
its pretty boring.
im bored.im bored.im bored.im bored.i said im bored.
i do feel smth has changed.some i can tell,but some i could not.
but i am stil adapting to it.
however,if thr's a day i really couldnt stand it any longer,
i
i have changed,
im now even more pessimistic,
not-as-violent as before.(i really mean it)
i realised i've closed up myself.
trap myself & never had the intention to set myself free.
i have nt been crying for ages.
'cos im happy?nope.
it feels so bad tt im really down,bud im so sick of crying.
